Archive

Posts Tagged ‘Government’

An Open Letter to the Dominion Formerly Known as Canada

March 5, 2011 3 comments

Hello Canada,

I’m writing to inform you that your government is making some changes around here.  You see, the idea of Canada just  doesn’t fit in to the ideas that we’re trying to cultivate around here.  When people think of Canada they tend to think friendly, peaceful and reasonable.  That’s just not what we’re all about.  So instead of “The Government of Canada” we’re going to go with “The Harper Government” .  In these times of “minority government” it’s important that the people of this nation and abroad recognize that we wear the pants around here, and the other parties have absolutely no say as to what does or does not pass in the House.  There is only the Harper Government. 

In a similar spirit, we’ve gone ahead and changed the official name of the nation to coincide with the new name of its government; after all, consistency is key.  And so this great nation will hence forth be known as “The United Dominion of the Provinces of Harperland” or “Tim Horton’s Presents: Harper-Nation” for shot.

Your New Flag!

We’ve also taken the liberty to change some other titles around government: The Leader of the Opposition will now be known as “The Not Harper”, the leader of the NDP will now be known as “Mustache Harper”, the leader of the Bloc Quebecois will now be known as “French Harper” , the Office of the Prime Minister, now a position held for eternity, will be known as “The Office of the Infallible, Super Cool, Really Popular Ladies Man who is Always Right, Has Great Hair, and is Totally Not Fat”  His word is law.

Sincerely,

Your Supreme Overlord

The Right Honourable, Super Awesome Home-Coming King

Stephen “Vanilla Thunder”  Harper